Welcome to the Self-Love Club
Self-Love…
isn’t a magic switch — it’s a practice, a choice, and a daily act of courage that reminds you you are enough.
Your Official Invitation
Let’s talk about self-love — the messy, beautiful, often hard kind. I;m going to get straight to the brutally honest part: I struggle with self-love. For years, I thought it was something I just didn’t have. I spent a lot of time looking outward, seeking validation or worth from others, only to realize that self-love isn’t something you stumble upon — it takes hard work, heart work.
The world tries to beat us down and tell us lies about who we are — that we are unworthy, unlovable, or not enough. For a long time, I struggled — and sometimes still do — with believing that I should be loved by myself. That it’s okay, even necessary, to show up for ME. But over time, I’ve learned that self-love is a practice, a daily choice, and something that grows when you intentionally give yourself care, kindness, and recognition.
Sometimes self-love looks like putting on earrings that make you feel like you. Sometimes it’s celebrating tiny victories, or showing up for yourself when it’s easier to turn away. It’s not about perfection or grand gestures. Some days it’s messy, some days it’s quiet, and some days it’s downright hard. But the beauty of self-love is that it’s always possible — if you’re willing to do the work.
And that’s why I want to invite you to join The Self-Love Club.
Self-Love Tips:
Start small: Even five minutes of intentional “you time” counts — read a few pages of a book, sip tea, or just sit in sunlight.
Set a gentle boundary: Say “no” to something today that doesn’t serve you. Showing up for yourself sometimes means protecting your energy.
Create a mini ritual: Pick one small act every morning that signals self-care — lighting a candle, putting on your favorite earrings, or journaling for five minutes.
Find community: Seek out people or groups who encourage and support you. Connection fuels self-love.
“Requirements” for Membership
Membership is simple. There are no complicated rules, no secret handshakes, no prerequisites. But there are a few commitments — ones that have changed my life in tangible ways. And to make it real, I’ll share a little from my own journey with each one.
You Show Up for Yourself
For years, I lived in perpetual burnout, mostly from work, and self-care was practically nonexistent. Then we moved to Virginia, and suddenly I had so much time on my hands that I didn’t know what to do with it in a healthy way. Slowly, I began to discover what showing up for myself could look like: small, intentional acts of care and connection. One of the biggest pieces was finding a supportive community of people who genuinely cared. For me, that was Innisfree Village, where I now celebrate eight years of being part of this second family. There, I didn’t just find community — I found myself.
You Speak Kindly to Yourself
I am hypercritical of myself. I spiral into mind games and self-doubt constantly. It’s not a healthy mental space to live in, and it’s something I’m still working on. But I’ve noticed that when I actually affirm myself — really take a moment to say something kind — it makes an honest-to-goodness difference. I have more joy, more creativity, and more happiness on the days I give myself that little encouragement. Self-love starts with the words you say to yourself.
Self-Love Tips
Catch the negative self-talk: Notice the inner critic and reframe it. Instead of “I can’t do this,” try “I’m learning, and that’s enough.”
Use affirmations that feel real: Keep them short and believable, like “I’m doing my best” or “I deserve this moment of care.”
Write yourself a note: Leave a sticky note on your mirror or phone reminder that says something kind about you.
Pause before judgment: When you catch yourself being hypercritical, take a slow breath and ask, “Would I say this to a friend?”
You Celebrate Your Wins
I played a lot of team sports growing up, and winning a game or a dance competition was amazing. But when it comes to my own achievements — especially with my business or creative passions — celebrating them is harder. I’ve realized it’s closely linked to how we speak to ourselves. Any tiny victory matters. My husband often lovingly reminds me to notice progress I might otherwise overlook. Like the time a pair of unique earrings finally sold after sitting in my shop for two years, just waiting for the perfect fit — celebrating that felt like magic.
You Allow Yourself Joy
Joy is pure gold, people. It’s what makes life light up even in the middle of trials. Having joy means that no matter the circumstances, you can find a little spark of light at the end of the tunnel. It’s a warmth that spreads like a soft blanket — through happy moments, through challenges, through ordinary days. And sometimes, it’s as simple as choosing a favorite color, putting on earrings you love, or taking a walk. Self-love is also choosing delight.
You Keep Showing Up
Self-Love Tips:
Track small victories: Keep a journal or digital note of daily wins — even tiny ones, like completing a task or making progress on a creative project.
Share your joy: Tell someone you trust about a small win — celebrating out loud reinforces it.
Give yourself a treat: Pair your acknowledgment with something pleasant — a favorite snack, coffee, or that special pair of earrings.
Recognize progress, not perfection: Some wins are just showing up. Celebrate the effort, not only the outcome.
There will be days when you don’t feel like loving yourself. Days when shame, guilt, or exhaustion cloud your view. It will not always be mountaintop moments. But even in the valleys, showing up anyway — doing something kind for yourself, giving yourself a moment of care, wearing that piece of jewelry that makes you feel good — it makes the mountaintop moments worth it. Consistency, even in small ways, is what builds lasting self-love.
Self-Care as an Act of Self-Love
Self-care is more than a routine or a checklist; it’s a mindset and a way of honoring yourself in the everyday moments. It’s the recognition that your needs, feelings, and well-being matter, and that taking time for yourself is not selfish — it’s essential. Self-care is the practical, lived expression of self-love. It’s what allows the principles of the Self-Love Club to move beyond ideas and become something tangible in your daily life.
For many of us, self-care is complicated because life is busy, demanding, or unpredictable. We often prioritize everyone else’s needs first and put our own on the back burner. But self-care reminds us that our energy, health, and happiness are foundational. Without them, it becomes almost impossible to show up fully — for ourselves or for others. It’s the difference between surviving and thriving.
Self-care can take countless forms — sometimes big, sometimes small — but the heart of it is always the same: intentional attention to your own well-being. It’s noticing when you need rest, connection, or nourishment, and responding with kindness rather than judgment. It’s about creating space to reflect, to recharge, and to feel seen and valued by yourself.
Think of self-care as the ongoing heartbeat of self-love. It’s what allows the other membership requirements of the Self-Love Club to flourish — the underlying current that makes all of it sustainable. Without it, the work of self-love can feel exhausting or out of reach. With it, self-love becomes not just a goal, but a way of life — a practice that is both nurturing and empowering.
Self-Love Tips:
Create tiny joyful rituals: Wear jewelry, a favorite color, or something that makes you smile every day.
Do one fun thing daily: Listen to music, dance in the kitchen, or take a short walk outside — joy doesn’t need to be big.
Notice moments of delight: Keep a “joy list” and jot down small moments that make you happy.
Permission to indulge: Say “yes” to yourself in small ways — a bubble bath, extra coffee, or that dessert you love.
In essence, self-care is about giving yourself permission: permission to rest, to feel, to experience, to celebrate, and to honor your own journey.
If You’re Really Struggling Right Now
If you’re reading this and self-love feels completely out of reach, I want you to know something first: I will never say “I know how you feel,” because every person’s journey is different and deeply personal. But I can say this — you are not alone, and you deserve care, support, and gentleness exactly where you are.
Sometimes self-love isn’t about trying harder or doing better. Sometimes it’s about surviving, about getting through the day, about asking for help when the weight feels too heavy to carry by yourself. And that kind of strength matters just as much.
If you need more than tips from me — and truly, sometimes we all do — please consider reaching out to a therapist or counselor. These are people who are trained to help you navigate seasons that feel overwhelming, confusing, or painful. Talking to someone doesn’t mean you’re broken. It means you’re human, and you’re choosing to care for yourself in a brave and powerful way.
And while I may not know your exact story, I want you to hear this clearly: you are worthy of love, support, and healing. I’m cheering for you, and I’m holding space for you.
Self-Love Tips:
Consistency over intensity: Even a tiny act counts. Five minutes of journaling or putting on a favorite piece of jewelry is enough.
Don’t wait for motivation: Sometimes showing up means doing it even when you don’t feel like it.
Embrace the valleys: Accept the hard days without judgment. Self-love includes persistence, not perfection.
Celebrate your resilience: Look back on days you showed up even when it was hard — this reinforces your capacity to keep going.
If you’re struggling with your mental health, help is available, and reaching out is a brave and important step. The resources below are not a comprehensive list and are primarily nationwide options for the U.S., but they are a place to start.
Immediate Crisis Support (U.S.)
988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline — Free, confidential support available 24/7 by calling or texting 988 or visiting 988lifeline.org for chat.
Crisis Text Line — Free, confidential 24/7 text support. Text HOME to 741741 to connect with a trained listener.
SAMHSA National Helpline (Substance Use & Mental Health) — 1‑800‑662‑HELP (4357): free, confidential referral and treatment information.
Peer Support & Community Resources
NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness) HelpLine — Free emotional support, information, and referrals. Call 1‑800‑950‑NAMI (6264), text NAMI to 62640, or email helpline@nami.org.
Mental Health America (MHA) — Offers information, screening tools, and guidance on finding support, plus connections to local affiliates that can help you locate services in your area.
To Write Love on Her Arms (TWLOHA) — A nonprofit dedicated to hope and help for people struggling with depression, addiction, self‑injury, and thoughts of suicide.
Choosing Yourself, Every Day
Being a member of the Self-Love Club doesn’t mean life will be perfect. It doesn’t erase doubt, fear, or hard days. It doesn’t mean that self-love will feel effortless But it does mean that you are committing to showing up for yourself, even when it’s difficult, even when the world tries to tell you otherwise. It means recognizing that your worth, your voice, and your happiness matter — and that caring for yourself is not only allowed, it’s essential.
This February, I invite you to embrace your membership fully. Celebrate the wins you see, even the tiniest ones. Speak to yourself with the same kindness you would offer a dear friend. Allow yourself joy in ways that light up your heart, and show up again tomorrow, even if today felt impossible. There is power in repetition, in persistence, and in the gentle, steady practice of self-love.
So here’s your invitation:
choose yourself, love yourself, and keep showing up. You are enough, and you always have been.
Remember, self-love is not a solitary endeavor. It thrives in connection — with the communities that support you, the friends who remind you of your worth, and the inner voice that grows stronger each time you affirm yourself. Even if you feel alone in a moment, the choice to show up for yourself connects you to something larger: a shared human experience of resilience, courage, and love.
So give yourself permission. Permission to care, to celebrate, to rest, to laugh, to create, to embrace your light and your shadow. Be patient with yourself. Be gentle. Be consistent. And know this: you are worthy of love — your own love — every single day.
Membership in the Self-Love Club is always open. And every act of care, every moment of courage, every small celebration counts.